Nothing quite compares to the preponderant feeling of being able to head over to the local big box homewares retailer to pick up a few four by eight sheets of 3/4” marine-grade plywood in a large urban assault vehicle. But when faced with the onslaught of ever-increasing fuel costs and the realization that a large percentage of the day to day hauling needs could be handled in spare tire cavity of a Yukon Denali, many of the four-wheeled faithful explored the new transportation phenomenon know as “scooters”. The problem is that scooters are encased in daintily colored plastic, have those bobo tiny wheels and generally do not convey an aggressive stance that one comes to depend on when trying not to make eye contact with the other motorist you just cut off when jockeying for position in the Dunkin Donuts drive-through. Sweathog solution: Troll the local craigslist for a late-model Suzuki DR-Z 400 whose soon-to-be previous owner “just doesn’t ride as much as I thought I would” and is ready to let go of the not-even-broken-in former two-wheeled adventure touring fantasy bike. The DR-Z’s 36-inch seat affords the rider an eye-to-eye view with most sport activity vehicle operators and its stock toolbag mounting system is easily modified to secure a milk crate that’ll hold about a $60 haul from the local hippie organic food market or approximately seven range-fed whole chickens. With a heavy throttle, the DR-Z will keep up with the neighbor’s new six-liter G6 until you’re both earning reckless driving points with the local law enforcement agency while going nearly 120 miles before hitting reserve at 1.7 gallons.
